Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Summer question mark

We're down to about 6 days of school left.
It's at the point where schools getting so close to being out for the summer that it's getting bittersweet.
You walk through the hallways and realize that you'll never be in school with these seniors again. You'll miss certain teachers; who now as you look back, you see that they truly did change your life in a positive way.
As I walk down the halls; I don't have regret. But I wish I did more.
Walking to class today, there was a quote on the wall as I looked up: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi.
I feel like I could've done more. There's always more that can be done. We need to constantly be progressing and improving ourselves. I should've said hi to more lonely kids. I should've walked the new kid to class. I should've sat with the lonely girl eating lunch on the stairs. I should have dropped off more notes in people's lockers and left love notes for friends in their textbooks. I should've given someone my prime parking spot. I should have tried harder to get better grades. Like I said, I don't have regrets. But I certainly have things that I would do a little bit differently if I were able to go back. The thing about time is that it's seriously so precious.

“Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” -- H. Jackson Brown

I think that a lot of the times we sit around, waiting for things to happen; wishing for things that never will happen if you just SIT there.

I've decided that I want this to be my most productive summer. A summer when I have a job; a summer in which I will make a change. A summer in which I will be closest with the people I love, and remind them how much they truly mean to me. 

T-wolves, this is it for a lot of you. Seniors, I will miss you more than you know. I love each of you so very much. 

Let's make it one awesome last week of school: and what I repeat over and over in my head during races: No Regrets.  


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

No more fears

Tiff's blog: learning to be comfortable in your own skin.
I have become obsessed with this song Weightless by Natasha Bedingfield -

I have to keep reminding myself, I'm not like anyone else. 
Start with little changes but you don't know who you are. 
Surround yourself with friends who only call you superstar! 
Cut the strings and let me go. 

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Who says?

                                                         I wouldn't want to be anyone else

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


we all have one, or two of em in our lives.
people who are what I like to call a "convenience friend"...
those who come to you in their time of need- and only in THEIR time of need.
feeling very fed up by one in particular lately this past week.
I won't say anything else for now, because my feelings are momentarily VERY strong on this thought.

Monday, April 4, 2011

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” Bob Moawad

                                         You'll be in my heart. Always. I miss you everyday.
Sometimes it amazes me how much I miss the past. How much I would give to go back to the easier times, and the best days. When I was young and carefree. Where "impossible" wasn't a word in my vocabulary.

One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.

I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night. I miss the way we sleep.
-Colbie Caillat

be my best friend, and he says I Am.
(I am - nicole nordeman)
It's called LIFE. It's a beautiful journey. There are good things in life, and there are bad things; the beauty of it is that we get to experience it all. 
It's become the new trend. Who wears pants anymore? Definitely none of the girls at my school. Leggings, Jeggings, Tights; call em what you will. They're comfortable.

Thank you for making me stronger. I wouldn't want to go through it again, that's for sure. But every lie, every cut, every tear you caused, and every time you backstabbed me; made me who I am today. Thank you for molding me into the girl I am today.

Is anyone else with me on this!?!?!? Sometimes there are just those boys who mean the absolute world to you, and you want so badly to do something for em. Would it be weird to give a boy flowers? Mark my words, ladies, someday I'm gonna do it. 

Have you ever seen such a beautiful night? I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright. When I see you smilin I go "oh, Oh ohhh." I would never want to miss this, cause in my heart I know what this is. This is what dreams are made of.

I only want you to want me.

high school's gonna end. the only people I'll be takin with me are the people who mean the absolute most to me. It's almost over. One more year of this before it's time to grow up and move onto greater things. I'm lookin forward to the day when I'm sittin on my porch of my dream home in my favorite rocking chair next to my best friend who I grew old with, and I'll look back at everything I did and be able to look back on my life, on everything I did, smile, and say "Well, that was fun" (: 

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. If you love someone, and you know you're not good for em, you'll let em go. Even if it breaks your heart and just about kills you; You'll do it, if you love them enough like you say you do.

butterfly fly away. butterflies have always been beautiful to me. they're so free. to me they're a symbol of freedom. they fly because they know they're beautiful. they soar high because they know they can. and, they aren't easily chased. I want to be like that. not be afraid to fly and soar, and not be one who is easily caught (: 
it's one of those things where in the moment you can't possibly understand why these awful things are happening to you. but somewhere down the road, however close or far that may be, you will realize that everything that has happened in your life has been for a reason. it's all made you better and benefitted you in some way. but I know it's hard to see that in the moment. so let's do ourselves a favor, and take Tay's word for it; It's for a reason. So accept it, and don't get down on yourself. 

I couldn't tell you how many times I've sat there staring at my phone wishing that you would call to talk like we used to.

She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile. She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by. And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her; but you are everything to me. I just want to show you she don't even know you, she's never gonna love you like I want to. You just see right through me but if you only knew me we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable, instead of just invisible. She's never gonna see the light no matter what you do. All I think about is how to make you think of me and everything that we could be. 

Inspire me. 

and I think that's the worst part. We always want what we can't have.

Let me love you, let me want you. 


chasing cars

ice cream doesn't get any better than being covered in gummy bears.

standing out above the crowd isn't looked down upon. sometimes we're judged or talked about because people don't know how to handle our differences- however, I promise you this; if you learn to be comfortable in your own skin, the people who matter in your life will learn to accept you. those who never accept you, well, let them be. they'll be out of your life anyways. never give up an opportunity to be unique because you're intimidated by someone. don't waste a minute of this life worrying about what other people think. 

You are my sunshine. I hope you see that. Thank you for being my light on my darkest days.

story of every girl's life. "Are you okay?" Girl: "Yeah, I'm fine."
learn to let your feelings out. trust me, it feels a lot better than keeping them in.

there will be people in your life who inspire you, people who you will look up to. let them know that they inspire you and that they have made a difference in your life. they'll appreciate it, and they want to know how they've touched you. to the people who inspire me; Thank You. Thank you thank you thank you. You've made me who I am, because I've learned from you! 

I believe in kissing. Kissing a lot. 

You know the term "take a walk in their shoes" --
I've decided that I would rather "take a look through their eyes"
wouldn't it be cool to live life from someone else's perspective, even if just for a day.
You'd learn so much. You'd see people in such a different way. You'd cry the tears that they felt. You'd have the light that they have. Before you judge someone, try to see from their perspective. You may learn a lot more than you ever thought you could. 

You tell em, Mahatma!
We tell ourselves that "someone else will do it, someone else will stop to help, someone else can do this a lot better than I could, someone else will give them a hand." the truth is that THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD needs to be done by US personally. If you want something to be different, guess what, YOU HAVE TWO HANDS. Go for it. Live with no regrets. 

I think we all need a little sparkle and glitter in each of our days. 

"Real life is a funny thing you know.
In real life saying the right thing, at the right moment is beyond crucial.
So crucial in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
But lately what I’ve began to fear more than that, is letting the moment pass with saying anything. 
I think you deserved to look back on your life without this chorus of resounding voices saying, I could of but it’s too late now.
So there’s a time for silence, and there is a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say.
You’ll know it.
I don’t think you should wait.
I think you should speak now." 

-Taylor Swift

To the world you may be one person. but to one person you may be the world. I promise you that someday you will realize how truly loved and adored you were. Never feel hopeless or alone, because out there, today, someone thought of you. out there, today, someone prayed for you. out there, today, your future spouse thought and wondered about you. everyday is filled with people who love you. if you don't feel that love, don't jump to the conclusion that you aren't loved. maybe just wipe off your glasses, and try to adjust your vision. 

your time will come.
pinky promise.

favorite word of all time

Remember your childhood? Water coloring with your neighbors in your old, torn up coloring books, and getting the usual at Baskin Robbins, bubble gum and cotton candy ice cream? those were the days (:

never get too old to go puddle jumping. it's only the best thing in the whole world.

I grew up on these, and I don't think it's safe to say that if you haven't tried these, you haven't lived. 

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” Brian Littrell

No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity. 

Snow cones are magical. it's amazing how small the little pieces of ice can be shredded into.  but I'm not going to lie. I never liked tiger's blood. every time I had a tigers blood snowcone, I always thought of Shere Khan, from Jungle Book.

after all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. and after all that's been said and done, you're still a part of me, after all. 

I want to be your everything.
But not today.
Cause I'm not ready to give you every ounce of my being yet.
I don't think you can give someone yourself completely until you know who you are.
I'm still finding me.
And I hope you're out there; trying to find you in return. 

you're MY snack that smiles back!

Sigh. It'd be nice if doing well in school was one of my strengths.
"Come unto me, and I will show unto you your weakness."

nothin better than a new tube of mascara! 

You're one of my favorite memories.
I love you.
And I know you'll be reading this. Or atleast I hope you will be.
thank you for being an angel for so long in my life.
thank you for giving me chances and experiences that I would've never otherwise had.
thanks for being my shoulder to cry on, my punching bag on somedays, and  my welcoming arms to run to. thank you for always giving me all of the orange skittles. thank you for letting me eat all of the ZOTS. thanks for talking with me until I fell asleep. thank you for the several hoodies. thank you for listening to my never ending stories. thank you for keeping me safe, for keeping me warm, and for always looking up to me.
we made mistakes, we did. I know that. I let myself down. I let you down.
I wish I could take that back sometimes; but at the same time, I don't. I learned from you. I learned because I was yours.
I think the time away has been a good thing, because I've finally found myself.
I know who I am.
I know what I want, and where I'm going with my life.
But I will never forget you.
My first love.
My first everything.
My best friend.
I owe a lot to you.
I hope you know that I think of you everyday. every night.
I think of you when I smell laundry detergent that smells like yours. Or when I smell bounce dryer sheets.
I think of you when I use my peppermint oil; because it was your favorite thing in the world. I think of your when I go to Walkers. I think of you when I go on walks, or for runs on the canal. I think of you every time I wear my vans, or every time I use a pilot pen. I think of you when I get home late at night and remember how we used to always stay out late.  We had a lot of good times. some of the best memories of my life were with you. I miss you. please stay safe and take care. please become who I know you're capable of becoming. I saw so much in you. Don't let yourself down, because I know you can become someone amazing. I hope you'll do the little things that you've been taught to do, because I promise they'll make you happiest. I remember one night when you texted me at 4 in the morning, it was about an 8 page text; you told me that you prayed. and that you couldn't stop praying. you told me that it was such an amazing experience, and you didn't want to forget it. I know you know what's right, and I can only pray that you will pursue the things that you know to be true. God knows you. He's there.
Sorry I can't be there for you anymore. But I'm just not strong enough to be a part of your life anymore.
Just know that I'm loving and watching you from a distance, hoping you're ok. Love you forever. 

drop everything now.
I don't care how.

orange ones are mine. always.

I JUST lost the game!!!!

I've always been fascinated by the ocean. You can't see the other side of it from the shore. If you look as far as you can, it just seems to touch the sky. Someone would pretty much have to be watching from above to see the whole thing. Our lives are very much the same. Our Heavenly Father helps us to see the big picture- the ocean in us that we never knew existed.

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